Ask for More Time is how Screen Time is supposed to handle the moment a limit runs out: your child sends a request, you approve or decline from your own phone. When it fails, you get the worst of both worlds: a child insisting they asked, and a parent who never saw it.
First, how it is meant to work. When a limit or Downtime blocks an app, your child can tap Ask For More Time. The request goes to the parents and guardians in your Family Sharing group, who can approve 15 minutes, an hour or the rest of the day, or decline. Requests arrive as notifications and in Messages. Here is what breaks it, most likely first.
1. There's No Ask for More Time Button
If your child only sees an option to ignore the limit, requests are not switched on. The button needs a Screen Time passcode, and for App Limits, Block at End of Limit turned on. Fix: Set a Screen Time passcode your child does not know, then turn on Block at End of Limit for each app limit. Our guide to iPhone App Limits not working covers the rest of that setup.
2. Your Child Isn't Managed Through Family Sharing
Requests travel through Family Sharing. If Screen Time was set up directly on the child's iPhone rather than from your phone, there is nobody to send the request to, and the only way to add time is entering the passcode on their phone. Fix: Add your child to your Family Sharing group and manage Screen Time from your own iPhone, or use a setup that does not depend on Family Sharing, covered in iPhone parental controls without Family Sharing.
3. Requests Arrive Blank or Never Load in Messages
A request that shows only an icon and a spinning circle usually has a Messages setup problem behind it. Apple's requirements are specific: the child must use iMessage and start new conversations from their Apple Account rather than a phone number, and every parent or guardian device on that Apple Account must run iOS 16, iPadOS 16, macOS 13, watchOS 8 or later. Fix: On the child's iPhone, open the Messages settings, go to Send & Receive, and set Start New Conversations From to their Apple Account email. Update every device you use.
4. The Requests Go to Someone Else
Requests go to the parents and guardians in the family group, on the Apple Account they use in Family Sharing. If your iPhone is signed into a different Apple Account, or you are not marked as a parent or guardian, they will not reach you. Fix: In Settings, open Family, check your role, and confirm your iPhone uses the same Apple Account you use in Family Sharing.
5. Notifications Are Silenced
A Focus mode, Do Not Disturb, or Screen Time notifications turned off will hide requests until you happen to look. Fix: Check that Screen Time notifications are allowed in Settings > Notifications, and allow them in the Focus modes you use in the evening.
6. You Approved, but the App Is Still Blocked
A request is for one app. Approving more time for a game does not reopen the other apps blocked by the same limit or by Downtime. And a child's phone that is offline has not heard about your approval yet. Fix: Check which app the request was for, and make sure the child's iPhone is online. To give time across the board, change the limit itself.
7. It's a Glitch
If everything above checks out, update iOS on both phones, restart both, and have your child send the request again. As a fallback, you can always enter the Screen Time passcode on your child's phone to add time. For wider problems, see iPhone Screen Time not working.
When You Don't Want to Be the Only Way to More Time
Even when it works, Ask for More Time makes you the bottleneck: every extra minute is a message to answer, often in the middle of something else. Tap Guardian flips it around: your child earns extra screen time by finishing tasks you approve, like homework, chores or reading, and the minutes are added automatically when you approve the task. It works without Family Sharing, on iPhone and Android.
Final Thoughts
If the button is missing, check the passcode and Block at End of Limit. If requests go missing, check Family Sharing, your role and Apple Account, and notifications. If they arrive blank, fix the child's iMessage address and update every device. And if Downtime itself is the problem, see iPhone Downtime not working.