You set a Screen Time passcode months ago, picked something you would definitely remember, and now cannot change your own child's limits. It is a common and genuinely irritating situation, and the fix depends entirely on one thing: whether you attached an Apple ID when you first set the passcode.
Here is the recovery path, in the order worth trying.
First: Try the Obvious Candidates
Before anything else, a handful of attempts. Most forgotten Screen Time passcodes are one of a small set — an old phone unlock code, a house alarm code, a bank card PIN, or a birth year. Worth two minutes.
Unlike the device passcode, incorrect Screen Time attempts do not wipe anything. You will hit escalating delays after several wrong tries, but nothing is destroyed.
The Main Route: Reset With Your Apple ID
On iOS 13.4 and later, Apple added a recovery option — but only if you supplied an Apple ID when creating the passcode. If you did:
- Go to Settings > Screen Time.
- Tap Change Screen Time Passcode, then Change Screen Time Passcode again.
- On the passcode prompt, tap Forgot Passcode?
- Enter the Apple ID and password you used at setup.
- Set a new passcode.
Note that this must be the exact Apple ID entered at the time — not necessarily the one currently signed in on the device. If you have several, that is the likely reason it is refusing you.
If You Manage It Through Family Sharing
Where the child's device is managed via Family Sharing, the passcode can be handled from the organiser's device instead. On your iPhone, go to Settings > Screen Time, select the child under Family, and change the passcode from there. Being signed in as the family organiser is what makes this work.
If There Is No Apple ID Attached
This is the bad case. If the passcode was created before iOS 13.4, or you skipped the Apple ID step, there is no recovery mechanism. Apple did not build a back door, and third-party tools claiming to extract it should be treated with heavy suspicion — many are ineffective, some are worse.
The only reliable route is erasing the device and setting it up as new. Critically, this means set up as new — restoring from a backup restores the Screen Time passcode along with everything else, which is the step people miss and then repeat.
Back up photos and anything else irreplaceable first, accepting that a restore will bring the problem back with it. It is a genuinely poor outcome for a forgotten four-digit code, which is precisely why the next section matters.
Set It Up Properly the Second Time
When you create the new passcode:
- Attach an Apple ID. Do not skip this screen. It is the entire difference between a two-minute reset and erasing a phone.
- Do not reuse the phone's unlock code. If they match, your child can disable every limit in seconds — and this is the most common reason limits stop working at all.
- Record it somewhere real. A password manager, not a note on the fridge your child can read.
Why This Keeps Happening
Worth naming the underlying issue: Apple's parental controls are configured on the child's device and defended by a code you rarely type. A passcode used once every few months is a passcode you will forget, and the recovery path depends on a decision you made months earlier and have no memory of making.
Managing From Your Own Phone Instead
The structural fix is not having day-to-day control depend on a rarely-used code on someone else's device.
Tap Guardian is managed from your phone through your own account, so adjusting a limit means opening an app you already use, not recalling a code from March. If you lose access you recover it the way you recover any account, rather than by erasing a device.
It also does not require Family Sharing or a child Apple Account, which matters if the passcode problem originated in a confusing multi-Apple-ID setup in the first place. Limits, bedtime and school schedules, and earned time all run from one dashboard covering iPhone and Android. Free for 14 days with no credit card, then $6.99/month or $49.99/year.
The sensible arrangement is both: Apple's Content & Privacy Restrictions set once for age ratings and web filtering, and the daily limits managed somewhere you can actually reach them.
Final Thoughts
Try the likely candidates, then use Forgot Passcode with the Apple ID from setup — that resolves it in most cases. Without an Apple ID attached, erasing and setting up as new is the only real option, and restoring from backup will undo it. Whatever you do next, attach an Apple ID, keep it distinct from the unlock code, and store it properly. If your limits were misbehaving before you got locked out, see why iPhone Screen Time stops working.